The 10 Month Itch

It's been almost a year since I came back from Australia. I came back July 6 I think. For probably a month after, it was great to be home and see friends and family, have a car and make money again. But for the past I don't know how many months, I've been having withdrawals. Not just from Australia, but traveling altogether.

Before I went, I was getting really restless, ready to get away from work for awhile and distance myself from drama on the home front. I wanted to see something new, meet new people and ride down a different road. I did all that and for awhile I thought I was "cured," that I was content again and had, in a sense, "gotten it out of my system."

But now I just want to travel even more. I've said this to Pete a lot lately, but it's true. I can't stop thinking about what I'm missing. What's going on in such-and-such place while I'm eating breakfast? While I'm at work?

When I look out my bedroom window, I see another apartment building and some trees. And I'm sure while I'm looking out the window, someone somewhere else is doing the same, but what is that view like? Of course, if I was anywhere else, I'd still be missing whatever is going on here.

It's not that I'm dissatisfied with my life here; I like my job, especially doing something different every day, and it's nice to be close to friends. I missed having someone familiar to talk to while I was gone and I missed a lot of little things...like recognizing brands at the grocery store or knowing where I was going. I don't want to make it sound like I'm unhappy; I'm just restless again and it's a little frustrating.

It's frustrating because I feel like I should be content where I'm at. I have a good life and I can't complain. It's also frustrating to tell friends that I want to travel more and hear that it's not practical. Geez, kill the mood in five syllables or less why don't ya. "It's expensive to travel." "When are you going to take off work?" "Yeah, I want to travel too, but it's not gonna happen."

One of my favorite quotes is "remember that at any given moment, someone would love to be in your shoes." (I made it up!) I tell people that a lot and it's certainly true. I can't forget that I have it good here and that I have to be somewhere, right? So why does this traveling thing constantly nag at me?

Sometimes I'll go through pictures from Australia or see some of the people I met there on Facebook and my heart sinks a little. There were things I didn't enjoy while I was there and people that I don't miss, but overall, it was exciting, a breath of fresh air.

Right now, I have a calendar of Ireland and I catch myself staring at it all the time. I want to go there, I think, and I make a mini itinerary in my head.

At the same time, while I was abroad, I realized that it's not nearly as fun to travel without someone. When I say I want to travel, I don't mean by myself. If I had my way, I'd take my family one place, my friends another and so on. It means a lot more when there's someone to share it with. In fact, there was a guy in one of my classes a couple years ago who modeled. He'd been all over the place and posed the question, If you had one year to live, would you spend it with your family or traveling around the world? He said he loved going to all the different places, but it just wasn't the same without someone to share it with.

As much as I want to go everywhere, it wouldn't be very fun by myself. There wouldn't be anyone to laugh with, get lost with or pose for pictures with.

Maybe if I traveled some more, I would find that it's not as great as I thought it would be. It could be like the straight/curly thing. If you're born with straight hair, you'll always want curly hair and vice versa. (I'm just now coming to terms with my own and that took 22 years). Say I got the opportunity to travel with whatever job I have, and then determine that I'd rather be at home...But I have to know.

I want to see all the states and I want to go abroad again. What I don't want to do is let a busy work schedule or money overrule my desire to do those things. I hate hearing people share something they've always wanted to do, but have never acted on.

Now, I guess I should clarify something. I don't want to live out of a suitcase, either. I just want to take some trips here and there and remind myself that there is life outside of Charlotte (or wherever I am at the time). There's too much world to only see a small portion of it.

At work, we have to type up birthday, funeral and wedding announcements. I've typed up several now and it's amazing how many people seem to stay in the same small town their whole lives. "So-and-so got married to so-and-so Saturday. Her parents are from Unionville and his parents are from Unionville. In fact, their grandparents are from there, too. After a honeymoon five miles outside town, the couple will reside in Unionville."

And that's great if that makes them happy. Personally, I think I'd feel claustrophobic.

There are a lot of people who do what they love regardless of how impractical it may seem. I tell myself that if it's God's will that I travel, I will travel. There will be a way. Maybe I'll travel a lot all at once, maybe I'll travel for work or maybe I'll just get to plan a lot of vacations, but I suppose we'll find out. I guess I just hope that sometimes God values passion over practicality.