Eye Declare

I was eating Pop-Tarts Tuesday morning when I had a panic attack. "What if I'm going blind?" I thought as I took a swig of milk. (Osteoporosis isn't welcome here).

The day before, I noticed that my computer screen and the newspaper looked blurry out of one eye. That night, I took out my contacts and it was the same way...So after I finished my Pop-Tarts the next day, I gave the eye doctor a call and made an appointment for Wednesday.

When the doctor came in, I said, "Hi, how are you?"

Doctor lady with a concerned look on her face: "I'm fine, how are YOU?"

Ok, the exam hasn't really even started yet, minus the air puff, and she already looks concerned; that can't be good. To spare all the details, she thought it was some kind of infection, so she sent me to another eye lady down the road. Not exactly my idea of a day off, but it IS my vision.

When I got there, a lady who looked like a mix of Farrah Fawcett and Victoria Osteen took my chart and pulled out a pen. "So when did the sudden vision loss occur?"

Wait a minute, vision loss? It's a little fuzzy; let's not jump to conclusions. I told her that sounded harsh, so she modified: "When did the sudden decrease in vision start?" I told her 2 days ago, then she proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions I had already answered on the form, some which, I might add, have nothing to do with my eyesight. "Do any of your relatives have asthma?" "Do you suffer impotence?"

The second lady doctor finally came in and Amanda told me not to worry because she's Canadian. I told her I'd feel even better if she was Asian, but we both decided we'd never seen Asian eye doctors.

She looked concerned, too, so her team of experts proceeded to torture my poor eye for approximately two hours and 13 minutes. First they kept asking me what the eye chart said, knowing full and well that I couldn't read it, then tested my peripheral vision by asking me how many fingers they were holding off to the side.

After three rounds of "one, five, one, two, five," they told me to press my forehead and chin against the metal thing and stare at the little red light so they could basically blind me with photographs for 20 minutes.

Then the camera guy said, "Does the light bother you?" Only when you shine it in my pupil like that. Then they injected dye into my arm so they could see the blood vessels in my eye better or something. The guy told me that 5% of people become nautious and that if I was going to have an allergic reaction, it would happen within two minutes of being there. Then he asked if I was ready.

Sure, why not? It's only my day off and you already look red because of that silly little light. As if having crappy vision isn't bad enough. ... I was glad Amanda was there, though; she made me less nervous.

I ended up not having nausea or a seizure, but I was hungry and felt light-headed, so he asked me if I wanted some juice. I said yes and he brought me a strawberry Juicy Juice that expired last December. I told Amanda to put it in my purse so he would think I drank it.

When we left, Amanda and I met Zach at Applebee's. My eyes were still dilated, so everything was really bright. I asked the waiter if he could close the blinds. The food was good, though. I left my Juicy Juice on the table when we left.

...Today, I was back in the office to make sure my eye isn't any worse. Being Halloween, some of the staff members were dressed up and the guy in the camera room looked like Paul Bunyan. Then I think they forgot about me for awhile because I almost fell asleep in one of those chairs while they were looking at pictures of my eyeball in another room. Eventually, they released me and I didn't have to pay co-pay again.

So in the end, I'm not going blind, but I am supposed to use these drops 4 times a day in hopes that it will go away and have some blood tests done whenever I remember to call the doctor and schedule it.

The Art of Being Spontaneous

I was on my way home from church when I called Sara.

Me: "Can you make sure I didn't leave my fall skirts there when I moved out?"

Sara: "Yeah. ... Do you want to go to the Renaissance Festival?"

Me: "I want to, but I can't today. I have two papers to work on."

Sara: "Don't you want to go with me? Don't you want to be spontaneous? When was the last time you were spontaneous?"

Me: "... I don't remember. ... Sara, don't ask me to do something I want to do when I have papers to work on."

Sara: "But I don't want to go next weekend and the next week is the Halloween one and the next week it's almost over."

Me: "But then I'll come home and still have two papers staring me in the face."

Sara: "... I kind of feel bad for you."

Me: "Thanks. Let me call you back in five minutes."

So it was nice to be spontaneous for a day; I need to do it more often. One of my biggest problems is that I don't know how to slow down sometimes, and stucture gets boring anyway.

Although now I'm at home, it's 9 p.m. and I've done precisely nothing on my papers. I guess my prayer in church for God to give me motivation for my papers didn't work too well. They're due the 20th and the 22nd, but this Saturday I'm going hiking, so that day is shot, and I usually don't feel like working on homework during the week. At the same time, I don't have class this week, so I don't feel TOO horrible. It was too nice outside to stay in anyway.

Later, I called Mom in a tizzy because not only am I missing my skirts but I'm missing my scarves and leggings. Emily wanted to talk to me.

Emily: "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm stressing out because I can't find my clothes."

Emily: "What did you do with them?"

Me: "I don't know. That's the problem."

Emily: "You know what I would do? Get something to eat, then think about what you did with them."

Me: "I already ate. Now what do I do?"

Emily: "I don't know."

Me: "Out of ideas already?"

Emily: "Yeah."

So there you have it; even a six-year-old's advice won't solve my problem. But if you see any Gap skirts or a batch of colorful scarves floating around somewhere, give me a shout.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

You know when you're on the brink of doing something that you KNOW you'll regret, but you do it anyway? I was just on a friend's Facebook profile and saw that she had several albums from places she'd traveled to recently. Italy, Germany, Slovakia, Capri, etc. Before I even clicked on one, I knew I would hate myself. I was right.

BAD IDEA.

I can't begin to describe the urge I have to travel more. It's like an addiction. It's like I'm completely consumed by it and can't get it out of my mind. Have you seen the movie Sister Act with Whoopi Goldberg? She's a showgirl disguised as a nun who teaches her class how to sing. At one point, she tells one of the characters, "If you wake up in the morning and can't think of anything but singing, you were meant to be a singer." Or something like that.

That's sort of what this is like. I know I've been to some places -- Australia, Montana, Minnesota and Canada -- but I want to travel EVEN MORE after seeing them. I want to go to Alaska, New York, Greece, Ireland and Africa. I don't know why I'd have such a strong passion for something if I wasn't meant to do it.

It's not like I hate being home. I love having a place of my own to come in the evening, a familiar place to wake up to or a place to visit my family. I love getting to know the people around me and being plugged in to a community. Nothing is quite like home...And I certainly don't want to live out of a suitcase. But I want to see these places SO badly I can hardly stand it. I think I'd have a heart attack if I felt like this 24/7.

P.S. Good idea: if you join the Blizzard Fan Club, make sure you print your "free 16 oz. Blizzard" coupon the first time it comes up on the screen. Otherwise, you might have to contact technical support and explain why you didn't read the directions, then hope they'll send you another one.

A Diversion from the Political

I can't believe it's October. Where did that come from? It was just August a minute ago, and now it's time to stock up on Halloween candy.

Speaking of candy, I went to the vending machine at work a few weeks ago and something was out of place. Behind a row of 3 Musketeers was a blueberry Nutri-Grain. Now you can't tell me that number six in line for C10 didn't get screwed over...But I guess it made number five's day.

That reminds me...I had a craving for chili, chips and cheese several nights ago, so I stopped at Food Lion after work. The chili and cheese were on sale, so I got two of each, then remembered I needed notebook paper. I was checking out and thought, "Hm, which item doesn't fit?"

Well, I think since I've been a loser and haven't written on here in over a month, I'll put the rest of my thoughts in list form. (Plus, all I do now is write for work or class, so it's nice to not worry about making things coherent).

1. I talked to Sarah awhile back and she and Topher were getting ready to go to the Olive Garden...it was never-ending pasta bowl night or something. I told her, "You know you're in college when you go to a restaurant for the never-ending pasta bowl."

2. There was a huge spider crawling toward my desk at work today. I think I attract bugs. I'm not kidding. It seems like every day for the past week, I've found some sort of ugly bug around the house or at work. Last week, there was a granddaddy longleg in my bathroom and I had to run out in my bath robe and grab my bug-killing flip-flop. There's a certain one I use because it's heavy duty.

3. I'm disappointed in the basic car wash. I pay $6 for the thing, drive in the little building, put my car in park and it's like a light rain. Unfortunately, because I park under a huge tree at work, a light rain is not going to get all the bird crap off my car. (I swear they only aim at mine. There's not a speck of uncleanliness on the van across from me). Last time I was in the car wash, I noticed something else. You know how a little sign lights up to let you know what's happening to your car? It usually says things like "clear coat" or "rinse." So I was sitting in my car, staring at the soapy stuff on my car when the light came on: "car soaking." What?...This isn't a bubble bath; it's a basic car wash. "Car soaking" is just another way to say "we want you to think you got your money's worth." Don't lie; I know what I paid for, I know I'm cheap.

4. A couple of weeks ago, Deborah went with me to the Indian Trail Pow Wow. I like the guys' dancing the best.

5. When I go into work in the morning, I grab a newspaper, take out the sports section and pretty much ignore all the advertisements. But I recently noticed one of the ads in our paper for a funeral service. There was a picture of the guy in charge of the place and I promise you he looks SO much like Bill from the game Guess Who. One of my co-workers agreed. Amazing.

6. I got to cover a trial this week. The details of the crime were pretty disturbing, but it was really interesting. As a side note, I don't think we should have to pay for the incarceration of a non-citizen.

7. I recently joined the Blizzard Fan Club at Dairy Queen. Pete told me that if I did, I would get coupons for ice cream, so obviously, there was no other option. I got an e-mail from DQ that said "you're one of us now." Well, I may not have been popular in high school, but by golly, I knew I'd fit in somewhere.

So I just got off the phone with Mom and she told me Emily fell off the monkey bars a few days ago and hit her head. I remember getting blisters on my hands in fourth-grade from playing on the monkey bars so much during recess. I would rub dirt on my hands to give me a good grip, swing on the bars until a big blister formed in the center of my hand, then go inside with the other kids and wash it with Softsoap. Our teacher always bought the kind with the plastic fish or dolphin on the inside of the pump.

Mom's birthday is coming up and while we were talking, she also told me how generous Emily is becoming. Dad asked her if she'd like to chip in her money for Mom's birthday gift and she said, "No, I'll just use your money." Look out, future boyfriends.

In other news, Pete came to visit me last week. :) I feel bad that I had to work half the time, but I really appreciate him giving up time he could've been working on projects at home to come all the way down here.

Last Wednesday (the day after he got here), he went to class with me, and Thursday, we made spaghetti. Over the weekend, we were in TN to see my family. Visiting my family is pretty different from visiting his family...but both are fun. Saturday, we all went to play putt-putt, and Sunday, Mamaw, Papaw, Andy and Austin came over for lunch. Nothin' like home cookin'. Pete made a lemon layer cake, too, which got "rave reviews." I'm sure he'll hear compliments for years to come.

Following good conversation on the way home Sunday night, I had to work Monday. I think that was taco night...Hilda said the kitchen smelled like a Mexican restaurant. By Wednesday, he had to leave again and it'll probably be a couple months before we get to see each other again. Maybe November will sneak up on me like October did.