I Think I Missed Something

Mom always tells me that I have an exciting life, but there are a lot of times that I disagree. I work and go to school and start all over again. Of course there are things I do outside of that, but not enough. I passed a gas station on my way home today and saw three college guys standing by a car, joking around. And I thought, "I think I missed that era."

Aside from studying abroad, I feel like I didn't have much fun in college...and even when I was abroad, I was taking classes.

I pretty much hated middle school, I didn't enjoy the majority of high school and now I'm in grad school, wondering if I really want to get a master's. What I really want to do is travel around the world and spend more time with friends and family and Pete. (Don't you feel special, Pete? You have your own category).

I'm kind of tired of hearing about all the fun everyone is having and all the dates my friends and co-workers are going on. I keep thinking, "When is my time?"

I hope this doesn't come off as complaining about what I have. I am extremely blessed to have my job and I'm really enjoying it. I'm blessed to even have the time to go to grad school right out of college and I'm blessed to be at such a good school. But lately, I feel like I could be a lot happier.

I just got back from class awhile ago and didn't come home in the greatest mood. I'm just not that into the classes I'm taking. I go to class after working all day, sit in a chair for 3 hours and try to listen to a lecture while, in reality, I'm probably spacing out two-thirds of the time. I honestly DO try to pay attention, but I'm just not interested in a lot of things.

Just a couple weeks ago, I signed up for a class over the summer and two classes in the fall. I'm really looking forward to the summer one...it's on cults. :) But it's interesting. I can actually apply it because there are so many false teachings out there and I highly doubt I will have problems spacing out. And I think when I get to take the class on apologetics, I'll really enjoy that, too. But this whole "Old Testament Survey" and "New Testament Survey" and talking about all the Greek translations simply don't pique my interest.

So anyway, I'm wrestling with a few options concerning grad school right now and I still have that paper to write since I couldn't bring myself to do it last weekend. In fact, it's the long paper plus a short paper and I'm hoping my classmate was wrong when he mentioned there's another short one, too. As my editor would say, "It's not a sexy thing to write about."

Speaking of, I'm on writing probation. Since I always write too much, my stories are supposed to be 20 inches or shorter for awhile. I don't know what 20 inches translates to, so I don't know how else to explain it, but it can be hard to do if you have a really good story.

It's not a bad thing, though. I'm not in trouble; I'm just learning to tighten up my stories. And my boss agreed that having too much to write in itself is not a problem; it's just cutting it down.

I did get some great feedback on a recent story, though, and that made me feel good. I interviewed a lady whose husband died of Alzheimer's at the age of 40. I was worried that the editor had taken out some of the important parts of the story, but I sent her both an original copy and a hard copy and she said she was so touched that she cried.

Oh, and I have also decided to invent a sweet tea that doesn't have an after taste. It'll make millions. Maybe that's how I will fund my trip around the world.


P.S. I should also mention that Pete has informed me, after reading my last entry, that a toilet is not an appliance, but a fixture. That's why I write and he fixes things.